have fun in the motherland.

that is what my birthday card said yesterday. the motherland? that means happy valley. tonight, i'm going back. it is going to be a totally different experience than it would have been if i went in october or even feburary. i'm a completely different person, with a changing personality, changing views, opinions, and an overall different idea of where i want the next year to go. the strange thing is, it doesn't really seem like i'm leaving or that i ever left in the first place. exactly ten months ago today, actually. i'm excited to get to go play with some pretty awesome people for the weekend, watch my best friend graduate, party a little. life is good, you know? i just think that it is so crazy, how different i am now compared to how i was when i left. despite how excited i am to go, i'm not very excited to leave. and by to leave i mean the current state i'm in. but i'm goin' on a jet plane for five days. i'll probs learn a few more valuable life lessons which is always good.
enjoy your memorial day weekend. hopefully it's deliciously food filled.

standards.

When a chef prepares a meal they have a certain reputation they must uphold; the bechamel must be smooth, the veal properly deboned and cooked to perfection. But more than the opinion of the public, the consumers, the chef has themself to report to. By setting their standards at the beginning of their career, and knowing what they want to gain from them, it allows the chef to maintain a certain dignity, and know that regardless of what other people say, they held themself in exactly the way they wanted to, and that their mentors, teachers, parents, etc. would be proud. I'm not really here to talk about the standards of a chef, but my standards. I am a teenager, a foodie, culinary dreamer, friend, daughter, sister, but most importantly i am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Ever since i was old enough to sit still for a small measure of time, my parents and church leaders have been instilling in me the desire to set high standards and surround myself with good people. In church they would read us stories of people, just like us, who were in bad situations and because they had not set their standards ahead of time and decided what they would do in certain situations, ended up making decisions that had physcial and moral consequences. As i heard these stories i would think to myself i won't ever drink or do drugs, it will be easy to say no. I learned the importance of surrounding myself with good friends and knowing exactly what i would do in situations where my standards would be compromised. But i was never in situations where i had to stand up for ANYTHING. i had good friends, and lived in an area where the biggest scandal was kissing your date after prom. It wasn't until i moved with my family that i learned just how hard upholding your standards can be. The first day of school this year, i learned just how crazy highschool outside the "mormon bubble" is. Classrooms had to be locked because of inapropriate behavior that would take place in them, the hallways were filled with couples passionately imbracing and making out, and the way that some girls dressed was distasteful and completely offensive. how could people live like that? it made no sense to me. I figured out the way things worked though, and after a semester of acquaintences finally made friends who respect me enough to not swear around me, and remind their friends just how offensive it can be. A few weeks ago a really good friend of mine told me that because he doesn't swear around me, when his friends swear he'll realize just how unnecessary it is. However, for the first time ever i finally am starting to understand the pressure the people in the stories they read us in church underwent. Even though i have good friends, a lot of their friends chose to participate in activites that i won't get close to in a lifetime.If ever were put in a situation in which my standards were tested i would stand alone in a heartbeat before i participated in the viewing of a rated-R movie, drugs, alcohol, immorality, bad language, etc. That doesn't mean things are going to be any easier. The reality of the situation is standing alone is not nearly as scary as losing friends.I already know that people whisper about me, that mormon girl who doesn't drink coffee or swear. That's normal by now and i stand by it. What scares me the most is that because i chose to live my life a certain way, with certain standards, people might think that when i walk out of an inapropriate movie, skip out on the dance afterparty, or become extremely uncomfortable when lots of language is used that i am judging them. When in all seriousness, that is not the case. i was raised completely different from the person who sits next to me in math class, to my yoga instructors, even my best friend. But i try so hard to respect the people around me, regardless of what they believe in. You don't have to agree with them, but you do have to respect them. Being different has never bothered me, but now that i have to actually make decisions that affect my school life and social life, it has gotten a little bit harder. not hard enough to give in and compromise what i stand for, but hard enough that i have to constantly remind myself of how important my standards are to how i want to live my life. At the end of the day, that, the opinion of my parents, and my opinion is all that matters.

a birthday wishlist of culinary excitement.

my birthday is two weeks from tomorrow. my cake design is underway, dinner plans being thought out, and the wishlist? one of culinary excitement.

Cuisine Couture Apron Anthropologie


assorted dozen Georgetown cupcakes


kitchen torch williams-sonoma

eco smart cutting board the container store


i'm probably the only teenage girl who asks for cutting boards and blowtorch's but, you know. life is better like that.